I have been embarking on a journey of love.
My heart is with L, my partner and lover..it is also with T, who is also my partner and lover and my primary partner. Sometimes I wish they could both be my equal partners and live as a Triad, but for L, it's not in the cards and I accept that. I expect to continue this journey along with both of them and let it unfold the way it is meant too. I know it's not always going to be easy, but I believe I will learn about myself and how I react, deal and understand things. It's a journey of polyamory.
Polyamory doesn't mean I am free to have humongous sexcapades with whomever I wish. It means opening up my heart with the possibility of loving whomever meets my needs ie; emotionally, physically, mentally and so on...
Polyamory is about honesty and communication and everyone being on the same page. It doesn't mean, (well, in some cases) sharing partners. It does mean being accepting and discussing new partners as ones needs are being fulfilled.
If a new partner isn't a fit and is causing angst, it probably isn't a good idea. Luckily, I am fulfilled and so is L, so it makes things simple. Ok, maybe not simple to someone who doesn't 'get it', but to me, it's all good. I enjoy being the 'special femme' in her life. I envy that the two can see her yes, but I have something to offer that they don't have. Me. I take care of the feminine side of things, as does she for me. It's such a warm and tender place to be, with her. We are both balanced and happy with each of us being the only fem.
Time is also a factor...this is a huge one for me. L lives 2 hours away which doesn't give me the luxury, or her for that matter, to be with one another on a moments notice. I tend to get a tad envious, or possibly jealous of the two that are there close to her. Jealousy, so I'm told, comes from ego...and when you think about it, it's true. But, when we do get together, our time is important. She always makes me feel important and loved. I absolutely love time with her.
I am obviously two-spirited or 'bi'...this feels right for me, it actually always has felt right. Why should love for someone stop at one gender? To me, it doesn't seem realisitic to not love all people.
When I'm with L, I can be myself...I am a bit of a hippie inside and she brings that out in me... She is an absolutely beautiful, joyful, Hippie Goddess that I cannot imagine living my life without. So in love with her.
Living in a small town all my life, I have always felt stifled. I am learning to 'not care' what others think of me and be myself...what does it matter to them what I do? How does what I do, affect them? It quite simply doesn't.
So here I am, living and loving and enjoying the people in my life that make it complete.
Peace & Love
